We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
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