got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
