I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
Randomize
