He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
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