I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Randomize
