So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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