oh god the rape fog is back!
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
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