The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Randomize
