Texts From Last Night

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  (818): View more from California

  You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.

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  (818): You can't hide fat with big sunglasses. http://tfl.nu/r8gr
  Replies (46) Good night (908) Bad night (3085)
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  (479): View more from Arkansas

  hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?

  (1-479): View more from Arkansas

  what?

  (479): View more from Arkansas

  your penis

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  (479): hey, can i borrow that thing you never use? (1-479): what? (479): your penis http://tfl.nu/2nga
  Replies (11) Good night (1564) Bad night (3891)
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  (304): View more from West Virginia

  Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.

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  (304): Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record. http://tfl.nu/wo6o
  Replies (17) Good night (1231) Bad night (5729)
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  (251): View more from Alabama

  He managed to light the Jello on fire...

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  (251): He managed to light the Jello on fire... http://tfl.nu/tu7i
  Replies (16) Good night (5935) Bad night (1022)
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  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.

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  (724): Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part. http://tfl.nu/1dsi
  Replies (28) Good night (8130) Bad night (1363)
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"

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  (908): you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind" http://tfl.nu/r0zl
  Replies (4) Good night (2711) Bad night (803)
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  (571): View more from Virginia

  I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed

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  (571): I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed http://tfl.nu/piiv
  Replies (25) Good night (5100) Bad night (1403)
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  (757): View more from Virginia

  they won't let me drive with my sombrero

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  (757): they won't let me drive with my sombrero http://tfl.nu/1zde
  Replies (9) Good night (2985) Bad night (1000)
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  (440): View more from Ohio

  im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.

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  (440): im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology. http://tfl.nu/d4l9
  Replies (14) Good night (3163) Bad night (1559)
• Favorite

  (770): View more from Georgia

  She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.

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  (770): She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking. http://tfl.nu/77kz
  Replies (9) Good night (3105) Bad night (732)
• Favorite

  (954): View more from Florida

  I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?

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  (954): I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home? http://tfl.nu/a7up
  Replies (3) Good night (1208) Bad night (700)
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.

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  (404): First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service. http://tfl.nu/76kl
  Replies (1) Good night (836) Bad night (494)
• Favorite

  (307): View more from Wyoming

  Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.

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  (307): Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation. http://tfl.nu/c3ab
  Replies (5) Good night (1600) Bad night (413)
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  (916): View more from California

  Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.

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  (916): Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice. http://tfl.nu/f46v
  Replies (6) Good night (1545) Bad night (531)
• Favorite

  (616): View more from Michigan

  MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!

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  (616): MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!! http://tfl.nu/8cgu
  Replies (11) Good night (747) Bad night (888)

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