Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
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