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• (202): View more from Washington, DC

  Do you have swine flu?

  (1-202): View more from Washington, DC

  I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.

  (1-202): View more from Washington, DC

  Pigs, yes. Swine, no.

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• (734): View more from Michigan

  it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco

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• (520): View more from Arizona

  woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes

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• (925): View more from California

  dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning

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  Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (937): View more from Ohio

  just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.

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• (541): View more from Oregon

  And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch

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• (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?

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• (269): View more from Michigan

  "I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken

  (269): View more from Michigan

  "Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy

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• (901): View more from Tennessee

  You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."

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  19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (330): View more from Ohio

  Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.

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• (310): View more from California

  I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"

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• (609): View more from New Jersey

  I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor

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• (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.

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• (608): View more from Wisconsin

  So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?

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• (813): View more from Florida

  Why is there bacon in the couch?

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