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• (248): View more from Michigan

  Don't you send me to vm

  Fav 4 1386 1907

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• (704): View more from North Carolina

  i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them

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• (512): View more from Texas

  I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.

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• (571): View more from Virginia

  I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.

  Fav 48 5494 1982

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  21 Reasons You’ll Be Forever Alone

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (608): View more from Wisconsin

  I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over

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• (208): View more from Idaho

  I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.

  Fav 21 1569 5598

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• (850): View more from Florida

  I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity

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• (860): View more from Connecticut

  in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore

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• (205): View more from Alabama

  Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer

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  23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (904): View more from Florida

  Champagne is a vitamin, right?

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• (408): View more from California

  We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.

  Fav 5 2689 1413

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• (715): View more from Wisconsin

  It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction

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• (770): View more from Georgia

  That would warm my breasts.

  (770): View more from Georgia

  In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.

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• (613): View more from Ontario

  He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.

  Fav 5 1417 677

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• (615): View more from Tennessee

  . Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.

  Fav 6 1596 772

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