Texts From Last Night

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  (586): View more from Michigan

  is your mom at the bar?

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  (586): is your mom at the bar? http://tfl.nu/5mmf
  Replies (4) Good night (2913) Bad night (1227)
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  (734): View more from Michigan

  those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!

  (269): View more from Michigan

  ...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...

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  (734): those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion! (269): ...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone... http://tfl.nu/zhx6
  Replies (9) Good night (836) Bad night (2271)
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  (708): View more from Illinois

  oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you

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  (708): oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you http://tfl.nu/ee4s
  Replies (11) Good night (1519) Bad night (2893)
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  (469): View more from Texas

  Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.

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  (469): Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate. http://tfl.nu/3qld
  Replies (15) Good night (6838) Bad night (660)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.

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  (303): I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better. http://tfl.nu/9eyu
  Replies (23) Good night (5595) Bad night (724)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.

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  (412): Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today. http://tfl.nu/4lg3
  Replies (52) Good night (10305) Bad night (1244)
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7

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  (404): She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7 http://tfl.nu/xypt
  Replies (13) Good night (6289) Bad night (898)
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  (858): View more from California

  ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL

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  (858): ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL http://tfl.nu/gcph
  Replies (7) Good night (1709) Bad night (888)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you

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  (303): The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you http://tfl.nu/278m
  Replies (19) Good night (1326) Bad night (2498)
• Favorite

  (719): View more from Colorado

  Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion

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  (719): Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion http://tfl.nu/mw29
  Replies (9) Good night (1266) Bad night (912)
• Favorite

  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.

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  (401): He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate. http://tfl.nu/dyap
  Replies (1) Good night (772) Bad night (382)
• Favorite

  (434): View more from Virginia

  This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.

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  (434): This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair. http://tfl.nu/7doa
  Replies (4) Good night (337) Bad night (963)
• Favorite

  (901): View more from Tennessee

  I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.

  (901): View more from Tennessee

  But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.

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  (901): I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes. (901): But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes. http://tfl.nu/ipaj
  Replies (4) Good night (969) Bad night (311)
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  (716): View more from New York

  Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.

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  (716): Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night. http://tfl.nu/ed6n
  Replies (0) Good night (317) Bad night (764)
• Favorite

  (734): View more from Michigan

  The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"

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  (734): The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!" http://tfl.nu/glab
  Replies (3) Good night (557) Bad night (222)

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