Texts From Last Night

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  (512): View more from Texas

  I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.

  (1-512): View more from Texas

  Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply

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  (512): I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all. (1-512): Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply http://tfl.nu/mzzt
  Replies (7) Good night (732) Bad night (1369)
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  (954): View more from Florida

  Your an asshole

  (1-954): View more from Florida

  Actually, it's "you're an asshole"

  (954): View more from Florida

  My point exactly

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  (954): Your an asshole (1-954): Actually, it's "you're an asshole" (954): My point exactly http://tfl.nu/txzi
  Replies (47) Good night (3591) Bad night (796)
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  (712): View more from Iowa

  My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!

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  (712): My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN! http://tfl.nu/er39
  Replies (34) Good night (6805) Bad night (1339)
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  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  this is something i pride myself on being below average for

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  (920): this is something i pride myself on being below average for http://tfl.nu/tsy8
  Replies (7) Good night (2564) Bad night (1311)
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  (281): View more from Texas

  I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.

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  (281): I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely. http://tfl.nu/tovx
  Replies (16) Good night (4903) Bad night (992)
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  (626): View more from California

  All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.

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  (626): All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me. http://tfl.nu/0mc8
  Replies (19) Good night (4554) Bad night (1159)
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  (915): View more from Texas

  everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.

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  (915): everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself. http://tfl.nu/tl80
  Replies (8) Good night (2114) Bad night (1104)
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  (443): View more from Maryland

  You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.

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  (443): You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them. http://tfl.nu/l1v8
  Replies (2) Good night (1376) Bad night (615)
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  (720): View more from Colorado

  I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.

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  (720): I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up. http://tfl.nu/iuni
  Replies (5) Good night (842) Bad night (1661)
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  (905): View more from Ontario

  Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.

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  (905): Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass. http://tfl.nu/tco3
  Replies (9) Good night (4445) Bad night (703)
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.

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  (847): I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet. http://tfl.nu/ancz
  Replies (10) Good night (4079) Bad night (746)
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  (904): View more from Florida

  Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.

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  (904): Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light. http://tfl.nu/d5q4
  Replies (20) Good night (1291) Bad night (537)
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  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.

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  (918): He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his. http://tfl.nu/1fae
  Replies (32) Good night (3141) Bad night (836)
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  (850): View more from Florida

  A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.

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  (850): A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween. http://tfl.nu/mp2j
  Replies (2) Good night (907) Bad night (387)
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  (318): View more from Louisiana

  I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...

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  (318): I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex... http://tfl.nu/uxr0
  Replies (1) Good night (216) Bad night (235)

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