WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Randomize
