All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
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