My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Randomize
