The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
My dick has a subreddit
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
