I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
