someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
Randomize
