I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
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