we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
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