K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
i was born a porn star she said
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
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