I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
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