you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize