i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
You pole danced in your parka.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Randomize
