let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
my vag is so smooth its legendary
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
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