watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
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