On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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