i permit you to call me
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Randomize