Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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