i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
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