I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
