Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
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