Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
Randomize
