Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
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