i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Randomize
