LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
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