I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
