I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
it was like having sex with a tree stump
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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