I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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