Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Randomize
