C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
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