His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Randomize
