census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
