We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Randomize
