____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
