I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
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You insisted on take shots off of plates.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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