some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
Randomize
