Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
