so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Randomize
