he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Randomize
