I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
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