Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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