ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
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