Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Randomize