I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
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