her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Last time i carry you out of a forest
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
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