so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
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