I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
this will be a night to untag.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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