I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
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