Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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