You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize
