Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Randomize
